Finally, The Pikin Drink The Urine Juice Sha (Pidgin Story) by Ebi Robert



(Photo source: Upsplash)


I was enjoying the Saturday's sleep-grove, with a mild snooring, I guess, when my better half gave me a tap that cut short a funny dream of mine. That touch only comes up when I have an urgent business to attend to. It's a reminder-touch, like an alarm clock. Those who can't keep to time in sleep can relate. "E be like your Aunty pikin dey faint o", were the words.


Immediately, I left the sweet bed, tied my towel, and majestically moved to the scene. I saw a group of women attending to a juvenile. Some were busy pressing her, and others, rubbing her with what looks like a crude oil.  "What's happening?" I asked. "She is suffering from convulsion," someone replied.  Trust Africans they are all specialists. So, different remedies were applied. Everyone became trained doctors overnight. As for me, I started a communication with my Creator. I was speaking without words. Ehn, like the wind that waves and goes. But then, there were some prayer warriors already making some fierce declarations. Only the extra violent folks understand the physics of spiritual force, and can take it by force. If you know what I mean. The Incorporated Trustees of Spiricoco fellas, can relate. Demons Sha, them never see somechin!


For me, God has already taken the wheels. But, trust the Dark Prince, the Minister of the Ministry of Holy Darkness, he never gives up. He raised his ugly head again -- and by this time, the pikin's body was going stiff. All our Africans mothers were out, still giving their remedies. The ambassadors of everything that is bitter, may have given some prescription. "Cut that bitter leaf, mix am with dogorayo, join small bitter kola. Hah, two cups of small stout too. Na small pikin ooo, so make am three spoonful". Uya na! Before I knew what was happening, I started hearing other voices -- "Piss ontop her. Piss ontop her." Right before my very eyes, the mother of the pikin, technically, did some acts of removal, and afterward gave the child some urine-juice. I felt the pain of a mother who felt she was about loosing a child. To her, "Anything for my baby ooo. If Urine is the cure, why not?".


Oh, the women, they reminded me of a typical African women setting. They were running up and down, shouting and wailing. Soon, a pastor came out from a church located in the compound. I had met the clergy before. He looked like a man who had fasted for 50 days and 5 nights -- I mean, 100 days and half night. His eyes were red, and of course, his skin lacking enough moisture. He seems like those clergies who are ruled with the philosophy of "No mercy for Satan and his cronies". He matched out with his Bible, and started applying some Holy Ghost therapy.


Well, I insisted the pikin is taken to the hospital. Pastor, nothing stops him from praying, but that pikin should be attended to. After all, only God knows the voices he will answer. But to this Heaven's agent, "My Father-Father must answer". The heaven must move from its place if answer does not come. Ney be so e dey? A lady saw reasons with me and then, she was taken to somewhere I believe to be a hospital. "The piss dey potent. As soon as the mama piss, na so the girl come calm. But God power pass," was the testimony of a lady. To them, a combination of the Bible, and a little urine is the answer.


Do you blame the piss-makers? Africans Sha! The scene reminded me of my own case. The pikin own better if you hear my own. I was told that when I was a child, because it took me a long while to walk, and also, because I usually fell sick, almost all the old women in the village abi the compound or so gave me the urine juice. I guess they took it in turns. Poor Ebi! No wonder, each time I go to the village, some strange women always recognize me and call me by the name. Nobody fit try am with me again na! Lie lie!


PIKIN, I understand how you feel. That's the society we are born into.


DISCLAIMER: The baby whose photo was used is not the baby who got the experience. The photo is just used for reading and posting purposes.


Ebi Robert (aka: The Lord of Ink)

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  1. Anything for the pikin. So long e go survivive am...

  2. No be small thing.

  3. Akaninyene Etuk30 March 2021 at 05:38

    Beautiful short story that integrates traditional,religious,and orthodox healing therapies. Great job.

  4. Thanks for the wonderful comment and for reading the story.


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