How old are you at the bar? (a legal playlet) By Ebi Robert



(Court about to sit. Five young lawyers are in court. Three of them are less than three years at the bar. The remaining two are more than three years at the bar. Who will call his matter first?)


Kuku Esq: Counsel, how old are you at the bar?  


Kaka Esq: Five sir.


Kuku: Oops, then we were called the same year.


Kaka Esq: Oh, I see.


Kuku Esq: What period actually?


Kaka Esq: In the morning hours.


Kuku: Then you are my senior by time of call. You can call your matter first then.


(Judge enters the court. Counsel at the bar, and those at the gallery stand on their feet. Judge takes a bow, and the rest return same. Judge then sits, and the rest follow as well. Judge then does some writing, and calls on Counsels to mention their matter on the order of seniority. Kaka Esq., mentions first and the matter was called by the court clerk. All was done about it and then adjourned. Now it's outside the court after two or three matters are called.)


Gaga Esq: Senior Kuku, how was it today?


Kuku Esq: Fine. The matter was only for mention. 


Gaga Esq: Then you should have mentioned yours first. I thought you just allowed Kaka Esq., to mention his matter first because he took permission from you.


Kuku Esq: No. Kaka is our senior. No, he is not. He is just four years at the bar. 


Kaka Esq: For real? That lawyer is a liar. He told me he is five years at the bar. I must approach him. Lying is unethical.


(Kaka Esq approaches Kuku Esq).


Kaka Esq: How old did you say you are once again?


Kuku Esq: Five.


Kaka Esq: Liar. When were you called? 


Kuku Esq: 2017. 


Kaka Esq: I was called 2016. I am your senior at the bar. You simply lied to enable you call your matter first 


Kuku Esq: I didn't lie sir. I mentioned my years based on payment of my Bar Practicing fee. I am five years at the bar by that calculation. 


Kaka Esq: Didn't you hear that based on the resolution from the AGM, count of year at the bar starts from year of anniversary for the purpose of NBA election?


Kuku Esq: I appeared in court sir, I didn't contest NBA election in the court room sir.

......

Dear reader, how old are you at the bar? 


Answer this way: by payment of bar practicing fee or by NBA Election count?


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